“Spending your life with somebody is not something I take lightly,” Sushmita Sen says as she opens up about relationships. The actor said she has been in “intense relationships” but never put a condition on them that they must “culminate” into something– marriage.
Sushmita said she has seen happy relationships crumble under the weight of obligations. In an interview with Humans of Bombay, the 47-year-old actor said two people must be together because they want to, not because they have to.
“I have been in intense relationships, I have been in long-term relationships, but I have never put a condition that it must culminate into something. Because that which is forced to culminate doesn’t last. This has been my firsthand experience with friends, family, people around me, that perfectly happy, healthy relationships have self-destruct because a piece of paper dictated that you must do that.
“I was very clear, I am going to end up with a companion–maybe marry–but a companion that neither of us feel we have to be here. You should want to be here. That doesn’t come easy. It’s taken me already half my life to find and I am ok to let the other half be on its way to find it. But it’s worth waiting for, it’s never something I take lightly,” she said.
Sushmita Sen, however, said she was “ready” to be a mother ever since she was crowned Mis Universe in her late teens. The actor said as part of the Miss Universe duty, she had to visit orphanages, which is where things started to change within her.
“It was creating an emotional bond where I was thinking that there is such a gap– somebody wants to be a mother, and there’s a child who wants to have, needs a mother. Perfect fit. Why can’t it just be that simple. My years of travel and being around kids had a huge impact and I knew I was ready for it.”
The decision didn’t go down well with her mother, who, Sushmita said, was “furious” and didn’t quite understand why she wanted to adopt a child at such a young age. Sushmita, who has two adopted daughters, adopted Renee when the actor was 30. Sushmita said it was her father who supported her and, as part of the law, signed off his entire property in the name of Renee.
“My mother was like, ‘You are a child yourself! What are you talking, what’s gone wrong with this girl!’ She was furious with me. My father was more patient. He asked, ‘Where is this coming from?’ and I told him, ‘It’s a calling daddy. I am feeling it very strongly.’ He told me that the calling wasn’t going anywhere, I could do it in a few years. I said if I do get married and someone says no (for a baby), the marriage will break because this is my calling. So let me have a baby first, so no one can question it. My father laughed and said, ‘I don’t know what has happened to her, but she is very convinced.’
“It was with his support, that the courts finally gave me Rene. Without him I would not have been able to… The Indian system is very particular, if not a father, a father figure, and that no better person than your own father. The law says the father must sign half of his assets to the child, to show intent. My father signed off everything in her name. I am epicly proud of him, the father I am born to, in a country like India. For him to have done that, it is unbelievable,” she added.
On the work front, Sushmita is currently seen in the show Taali, on which she plays transgender activist Shreegauri Sawan. Sushmita will also be seen in the third season of Aarya.